While many are paying attention to the red carpet festivities of the Sex and the City premiere this week, I’m dipping back a little farther to the even more sartorially grandiose carpets of the Cannes film festival.

Specifically, there’s one trend that was all over the place, and it’s what I like to refer to as Cage Shoes.

Cage Shoes are fairly self-explanatory, but there were some excellent examples at Cannes. Enough to inspire some hypothetical Cage Matches.

First Round: Madonna’s Louboutins

Madonna Cannes Louboutins

vs. Naomi Campbell’s shiny silver numbers (seen here between Maestros Dolce and Gabbana)

Naomi Campbell Cannes

 

Second Round: Svetlana Metkina in Balenciagesque sandals

Svetlana Metkina Cannes

vs. herself, this time stepping out in gladiator style.

Svetlana Metkina Cannes 2


Round Three: Laura Bickford (Oscar-winning producer of Traffic and now of Benicio del Toro’s Che Guevara biopic, Guerilla) in the Louboutin Rodita (last seen at the Met Costume Institute Gala)

Laura Bickford Cannes

vs. Lily Donaldson in a black satiny version clearly following the same trend.

Lily Donaldson Cannes

 

So, readers. Who wins each of these matches?

Though, really, regardless of who wins, the clear winner is Cage Shoes in general. They’re everywhere, ready to snap their sexy S&M-inspired bars around all our feet.