Christian Lacroix knows how to do feminine footwear. Often the sparklier, the better.

But I am drawn to these natural woven leather heels, which for Lacroix, are downright conservative.

Zappos is down to it’s last size: 38.5 (US which certainly isn’t going to fit my foot. Perhaps a Lacroix fan could pick it up at the clearance price of 46% off its original price of $719.

Like the style but not the price tag? Oh Deer has their ‘PB&J’ which is a cork-styled shoe apparently inspired by the LaCroix original. At $120 it is a bit more appealing to the budget-conscious.

Available in most sizes from both Shoebuy.com and Shoes.com, among others. Don’t forget to check out our Deals and Steals area to see if there are any current coupon codes available.

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…Because we care deeply for how you show your true (patriotic) colors, here’s a shoe for you for this 4th of July:

Christian Lacroix wicker platform wedge with rope ankle wrap, now on sale for $210 at Zappos.  Ok, their French origin may make them a tad less patriotic, but I think the sale price compensates, n’est ce pas? Um, I mean, don’t you?

PS: Many thanks to our co-blogger Jitterbugbaby for suggesting the title of this post!

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Today’s Fall 08 couture shows included red carpet faves Chanel, Christian Lacroix, and Givenchy.

What did they bring us?

The Chanel show was a beautifully structured collection in shades of gray, black, and white.  I’m not always a huge Karl Lagerfeld fan, but this particular blending of classic Chanel styling (sportswear, suiting, etc) and daring silhouettes hit me just right.

The shoes were variations on this one (and by variations, I mean differing shades of grey, black, and white to match the outfits):

 Classic, elegant, with a slightly quirky heel.  Not the most fantabulous, but nice.

Fantabulousness was brought full on at the Christian Lacroix show, where the maestro (or perhaps I should say maître) offered up a wild riot of fabric and color and pattern that includes a whole bunch of dresses and shoes that look like they’ve come out of a Velazquez painting.

The shoes definitely belong on royal feet.  Dare I say they remind me of some of our previously posted Friday Shoe History Corner fashions?  I do.  I do dare.  Plus, the array of excellent tights was fun to see.  I’m coveting this red and white pair in particular.

And that leaves us the Givenchy show, which fell somewhere in between Chanel and Lacroix as far as color and pattern, and frankly has the least attractive clothes, in my opinion.  But as you know, I’m a sucker for shoe accessories and for spats, and a whole slew of the Givenchy models had these fabulous gaiters/legwarmers going on.  I would love me a pair of them.  Except not those crazy stiped ones, please.  In fact, that whole outfit makes me slightly dizzy.

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I was browsing the shoe stores these days and was dazed with the possibilities and styles, and it got me thinking: what if I had to rebuild my shoe wardrobe from scratch? What if I had nothing, absolutely nothing to wear, and I would be forced to order shoes from one place and one place only to save me from this disgrace? (In this fantasy of mine, I don’t have shoes but I have plenty of money left to buy whatever I want. Ahem. Work with me here.). So I decided to create this little mind experiment and rebuild my wardrobe from scratch using one shoe store at a time. I need to cover my bases–I need dress shoes, warm-weather shoes, casual shoes, dog-walking shoes, career shoes, evening shoes, sensible shoes. Right? Right.

The first obvious place is, of course, Zappos. Here’s what I would pick up there, for starters, for the spring-summer season:

1. A. Testoni Giancarla red patent loafers, $376.

2. Michael Kors Palm Springs yellow patent flats, $400.  

3. Sigerson Morrison gold kitten-heeled sandals, $443.

4. Sergio Rossi Origami kitten heel pumps, $500.

5. Helle Comfort Ollie wedge, $160.

6. Ecco Performance Yarrah, $104.

7. Marc Jacobs color-block flat sandals, $353.

8. Delman Crest-V bejeweled velvet flat, $354.

9. Kate Spade Juliette open-toe slingbacks, $274.

10. Cole Haan Air Gabi boat shoe, $158.

11. Taryn Rose Daelyn gunmetal metallic wedges, $495.

 12. Christian Lacroix bejeweled kitten heels, $717.

13. Adidas by Stella McCartney sport flats, $100.

14. Tapeet by Vicini silver and gold flats, $400.

15. Dolce & Gabbana floral canvas flats, $330.

16. Juicy Coutoure Lillian espadrilles, $230.

17. Giuseppe Zanotti Mirror Lilia open-toe flats, $454.

18. Paul Green ‘Soul’ in leopard, $237 (although, shame on you, Zappos: the same shoe is half off at Piperlime! I guess it would be a good time to call them on it and get that 10% off the lowest price you can find on the Internet, right?)

19. Paul Smith Laney floral espadrille, $178.

Mmmmm….I’m drunk with shoes right now… I think I’m going to lie down, or I’ll buy all of them right now! Wait, I won’t: the grand total for this “starter” wardrobe is (drum roll): $6263. Over six thousand dollars. I probably went all crazy in the Couture section of Zappos, but I couldn’t help myself!

Later this week I’ll explore more eye-candy at other stores, and what it would take to get a “starter” spring-summer shoe wardrobe there. Stay tuned!

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I can only imagine that these Christian Lacroix shoes are a post-postmodern commentary to the futility of function in the world of form, an ironic wink to the fluidity of stumped motion, and a stern condemnation of the overbearing fixity of routine heels and soles:

That’s as close as you can get to NOT having a heel while preserving the illusion of one–a wedge, no less. They’re $670 at Zappos, if you’re interested.

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