*woop woop woop*

The red lights are flashing and the sirens are blaring.

Joseph’s, who we’ve talked about before, has marked a whole lot of their shoes down to 50% off!

That includes such “Previously Seen on Shoeblog” treats as the Taryn Rose Kaelyn (now only $226):

These Georgina Goodman low-heeled pumps (now just $203)

 And the super comfy Diane von Furstenberg Milano’s I wore for the DvF photoshoot (now only $146).

 Act fast, since sizes are limited.  Go forth and sale shop, Shoeblog readers.

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A good low pump is hard to find–you know what I’m saying? When you’re looking for a subtle lift without the discomfort of 3 inch+ heels in a dressy and interesting shoe, but you want to avoid the triple-whammy of 1) flat-as-pancake-soles, 2) thick low heels, and 3) stodgy black pumps of nondescript origin–your options are limited at best.

Which is why I cherish this Georgina Goodman snake leather pump with yellow leather trim and flirty but non-fussy bow on the vamp:

That’s what I call kicking heels–all the style, none of the discomfort, and supremely versatile (I can imagine wearing them with a pencil skirt for an office look, or with a mini skirt or even jeans out and about town with friends). Plus, my yellow obsession this season has been well documented (can’t help it! It’s a HOT color, people!). The only thing slightly unfriendly about them is the price tag–they’re $405 at Joseph’s, but hey! as we shoe lovers know oh-so-well, beauty and versatility come at a cost.

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Is there a name for these shoes? Full back coverage, but a bare thong in front? They seem to be the opposite of slingbacks (if footwear had antonyms, that is). For example:

Georgina Goodman sandals (with elasticized back and twist-tie thong), $325 at Barefoot Tess.

A very similar style comes from Irregular Choice–’Dirrty’, available for $110 at Nordstrom, in black or ’snake’:

By comparison, these below are positively business-like:

Delman ‘Una’ Sandal, $300 at Barefoo Tess. The Anthropologie team captures their oxymoronic nature when they dub these shoes ‘Oxford thongs’.

Or how about these Tracy Reese fiery thongs, $338 at Anthropologie. What’s that sticking from the back, you say? Why, I’m glad you asked:

Shark-teeth brass-detailed spurs!!! Now, that’s original! And scary!

And these Cynthia Rowley ‘Tuxedo’ thongs sport a minimum-coverage quarter, positively risque compared to the styles above–$131 at Anthropologie. Strangely, they remind me of a penguin.

Here’s a much more dressed-up version, the Azzaro Crystal sandal, $570 at Neiman Marcus.

However, I urge you to stay away from some variations, like the model above, which are indeed tragic ($118 at Free People Boutique). Rather, take advantage of the current sales and snag this chic Michael Kors ‘Gavi’ sandal, only $70 at Bloomingdales (sadly, only in sizes 7 and 7.5).

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