I was browsing the shoe stores these days and was dazed with the possibilities and styles, and it got me thinking: what if I had to rebuild my shoe wardrobe from scratch? What if I had nothing, absolutely nothing to wear, and I would be forced to order shoes from one place and one place only to save me from this disgrace? (In this fantasy of mine, I don’t have shoes but I have plenty of money left to buy whatever I want. Ahem. Work with me here.). So I decided to create this little mind experiment and rebuild my wardrobe from scratch using one shoe store at a time. I need to cover my bases–I need dress shoes, warm-weather shoes, casual shoes, dog-walking shoes, career shoes, evening shoes, sensible shoes. Right? Right.

The first obvious place is, of course, Zappos. Here’s what I would pick up there, for starters, for the spring-summer season:

1. A. Testoni Giancarla red patent loafers, $376.

2. Michael Kors Palm Springs yellow patent flats, $400.  

3. Sigerson Morrison gold kitten-heeled sandals, $443.

4. Sergio Rossi Origami kitten heel pumps, $500.

5. Helle Comfort Ollie wedge, $160.

6. Ecco Performance Yarrah, $104.

7. Marc Jacobs color-block flat sandals, $353.

8. Delman Crest-V bejeweled velvet flat, $354.

9. Kate Spade Juliette open-toe slingbacks, $274.

10. Cole Haan Air Gabi boat shoe, $158.

11. Taryn Rose Daelyn gunmetal metallic wedges, $495.

 12. Christian Lacroix bejeweled kitten heels, $717.

13. Adidas by Stella McCartney sport flats, $100.

14. Tapeet by Vicini silver and gold flats, $400.

15. Dolce & Gabbana floral canvas flats, $330.

16. Juicy Coutoure Lillian espadrilles, $230.

17. Giuseppe Zanotti Mirror Lilia open-toe flats, $454.

18. Paul Green ‘Soul’ in leopard, $237 (although, shame on you, Zappos: the same shoe is half off at Piperlime! I guess it would be a good time to call them on it and get that 10% off the lowest price you can find on the Internet, right?)

19. Paul Smith Laney floral espadrille, $178.

Mmmmm….I’m drunk with shoes right now… I think I’m going to lie down, or I’ll buy all of them right now! Wait, I won’t: the grand total for this “starter” wardrobe is (drum roll): $6263. Over six thousand dollars. I probably went all crazy in the Couture section of Zappos, but I couldn’t help myself!

Later this week I’ll explore more eye-candy at other stores, and what it would take to get a “starter” spring-summer shoe wardrobe there. Stay tuned!

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I can only imagine that these Christian Lacroix shoes are a post-postmodern commentary to the futility of function in the world of form, an ironic wink to the fluidity of stumped motion, and a stern condemnation of the overbearing fixity of routine heels and soles:

That’s as close as you can get to NOT having a heel while preserving the illusion of one–a wedge, no less. They’re $670 at Zappos, if you’re interested.

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It’s official, with Thanksgiving behind us and Hanukah under way, the holiday season is in full swing. And that means holiday parties. Me, I’m already planning my holiday party outfit in my head. It’s not going to be used until New Year’s Eve, but that’s never stopped me before. And key to a good holiday party outfit? The shoes, of course! And personally, I like to think of holiday party season as a chance to wear metallic shoes that is rarely paralleled throughout the rest of the year.

I’ll probably be donning the Nana Wanida silver glitter flat that I bought last year, which is now a steal at Endless for only $26!! I’ve only worn them a few times, and this is a perfect chance to wear them again.

You want some other picks for excellent glammed up holiday party footwear?  Shoes.com has a ton of em.

I love the divalicious Sam Edelman Nova slingbacks ($100) that are mirrored and metallic and come in silver or copper. And the Sam Edelman leopard lining? Rrrrowr!

For break the bank gorgeousness, slip on these Christian Lacroix pumps ($615) that mix gold and silver with an oxidized finish and some funky funky heels.

For mod style and plenty o’ comfort (say, with a kicky black A-line minidress), slip on these silver Taryn Rose Bonus flats, which are now 40% off at Shoes.com ($237 instead of $395). Bonus, indeed!

If you want to go for the rock n roll classic, try this blue suede variation of Marc by Marc Jacobs pointy toe low heel. Yes it also comes in black, but how could you pass up a chance to own a purty pair of blue suede shoes. Plus, these are also 40% off, so they’re only $267 instead of $445.

And finally, one last present many might wish for, which comes in the form of this delicate gold Donna Karan sandal. No, it’s not on sale, which means its price tag is a gulp-inducing $525, but maybe if you’ve been a very good girl this year, Santa will take notice and leave you this pair under the tree. Just look, it’s as if the bow’s already tied on them and everything.

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Here’s something cheerful, bright, and beautiful to brighten your day:

Christian Lacroix kitten heel embroidered and bedazzled shoes are $844 at Zappos–but what a pretty sight first thing in the morning. Come to mommy, my pretty, come to momy…

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I’ve long been an admirer of Christian Lacroix creations, especially shoe-wise: they’re usually funky, fresh, creating that much-need rush of blood to the head as in “hey, that’s pretty cool!” reaction. To me, this is the go-to guy when you need something over-the-top: he does it well, but with refinement. At the Paris show he pretty much had only two shoes he had his models strut in (one shown here from two perspectives):

I guess the message is clear: shiny goes with everything! More gold! More snakeskin!!! But above all, gimme metals and beads and sparkles–I wanna SHINE!

And hey, I’m down with that–every once in a while.

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