I was browsing the shoe stores these days and was dazed with the possibilities and styles, and it got me thinking: what if I had to rebuild my shoe wardrobe from scratch? What if I had nothing, absolutely nothing to wear, and I would be forced to order shoes from one place and one place only to save me from this disgrace? (In this fantasy of mine, I don’t have shoes but I have plenty of money left to buy whatever I want. Ahem. Work with me here.). So I decided to create this little mind experiment and rebuild my wardrobe from scratch using one shoe store at a time. I need to cover my bases–I need dress shoes, warm-weather shoes, casual shoes, dog-walking shoes, career shoes, evening shoes, sensible shoes. Right? Right.

The first obvious place is, of course, Zappos. Here’s what I would pick up there, for starters, for the spring-summer season:

1. A. Testoni Giancarla red patent loafers, $376.

2. Michael Kors Palm Springs yellow patent flats, $400.  

3. Sigerson Morrison gold kitten-heeled sandals, $443.

4. Sergio Rossi Origami kitten heel pumps, $500.

5. Helle Comfort Ollie wedge, $160.

6. Ecco Performance Yarrah, $104.

7. Marc Jacobs color-block flat sandals, $353.

8. Delman Crest-V bejeweled velvet flat, $354.

9. Kate Spade Juliette open-toe slingbacks, $274.

10. Cole Haan Air Gabi boat shoe, $158.

11. Taryn Rose Daelyn gunmetal metallic wedges, $495.

 12. Christian Lacroix bejeweled kitten heels, $717.

13. Adidas by Stella McCartney sport flats, $100.

14. Tapeet by Vicini silver and gold flats, $400.

15. Dolce & Gabbana floral canvas flats, $330.

16. Juicy Coutoure Lillian espadrilles, $230.

17. Giuseppe Zanotti Mirror Lilia open-toe flats, $454.

18. Paul Green ‘Soul’ in leopard, $237 (although, shame on you, Zappos: the same shoe is half off at Piperlime! I guess it would be a good time to call them on it and get that 10% off the lowest price you can find on the Internet, right?)

19. Paul Smith Laney floral espadrille, $178.

Mmmmm….I’m drunk with shoes right now… I think I’m going to lie down, or I’ll buy all of them right now! Wait, I won’t: the grand total for this “starter” wardrobe is (drum roll): $6263. Over six thousand dollars. I probably went all crazy in the Couture section of Zappos, but I couldn’t help myself!

Later this week I’ll explore more eye-candy at other stores, and what it would take to get a “starter” spring-summer shoe wardrobe there. Stay tuned!

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So, this week, the designers had to make a prom dress for the high school girl who picked them. There were some great things up there, and some awful things up there, but mostly things that were neither great nor awful.

Whiny bitch Christian made this dress, which didn’t satisfy him or Maddie, his client. Then he blamed it all on her being picky. Suck it up, baby. You’re the designer. (Can you tell I don’t like Christian?) The dress was over-the-top and the Dolce & Gabbana pony hair leopard print pumps were, too. Maybe they’d be all right with an all black outfit or something more demure, but with this dress, they were way too costumey.

On the other hand, Chris (the King of Costumey) made this very nice dress for his client, Krista. Tasteful, stylish, prom-appropriate, and a great color on her. I couldn’t find the exact shoes on Bluefly, but any number of strappy silver sandals would look lovely with this dress (which has silver buckles on the back that are very subtle and glitzy). Might I suggest these “Ice Rink” sandals from Stuart Weitzman, which are delicate and neat-looking. If you like them, by the way, and you wear a 10 or 10.5, they’re on sale for only $130.

Likewise, I didn’t see the silver sandals Tizi wore with Kevin’s uninspired (and ultimately losing) dress. But these Ferragamo “Strike” sandals have a similar (and I think somewhat funkier) feel.

Overall, I was sort of underwhelmed. Nothing was really egregiously ugly (except for Christian’s), but I wasn’t blown away by anything either. Oh well. There’s always next week.

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I occasionally get blog-crushes and writer crushes, so smitten I become with the ways with words of fashion-warriors. This time–instant crush on Cintra Wilson, who shops at the new Dolce & Gabbana store in Manhattan, so we won’t have to.

I loved the whole article in the Fashion & Style section of The New York Times (“Critical Shopper” column), but here’s a fragment that made me guffaw:

The second-floor shoe section is wrapped around an S-shaped sectional couch in black velvet. Dolce & Gabbana shoes look sensational — exotic, cruel little weapons. Sadly, they can be hit or miss in terms of adhering to a human foot. I went straight for pointy crocodile pumps, dyed arterial red ($1,825). I was salivating with a desire to feel their blood on the dance floor. Agony!

I was ready to commit $695 to pumps with chrome toes and heel shafts. For any girl who has lived among Belgian cobblestones, these shoes represent $35 a month in heel repair that could go straight to the dermatology slush fund. But the curse was upon them: they had apparently been molded on the Queen of Sheba’s goat hoof, or perhaps a ball-and-claw table leg.

Ain’t that the truth!

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I’m opening up a question from one of our readers, who is desperate to find these boots:

(as seen in the original context here).

I’m afraid I couldn’t be of much help. The only thing I could do is go hunting for beautiful button-embellished shoes, and hope one of them will strike her fancy. Buttons are a wonderful embellishment on shoes if used wisely; here are some of my finds:

• Frye “Adrienne” boots, already a bestseller, and for a good reason–they’re beautiful, and they look comfy, too. $398 at Piperlime.

• Dolce & Gabbana dark brown button boots, $800 at Overstock.com (that’s 43% off, but sizes are limited):

• Gorgeous Fendi high-heel suede boots with patent trim and brass button details, in dark brown, $795 at Barney’s (the all-leather version is just $500 at eLuxury):

• Duo “Bordeaux” Boots (in black leather)–stylish and custom-made to fit your calves; £129 at Duo Boots:

• Gabriella Rocha “Romina” button boots, $150 at Zappos:

• Type Z “Merengue” button boots with metallic leather trim, $225 at Zappos:

• Cesare Paciotti military-inspired boots, $928 at Zappos:

• Marc Jacobs suede and leather knee-high boots with the famous conical heel, $1400 at Net-a-porter (also available in a mid-calf version for $1,135):

• Tory Burch patent button boots, $545 at Shopbop:

You can go vintage, in which case I particularly love these sexy velvet Victorian boots , ca. 1880(unworn, no less!):

It’s a shame that during this research I didn’t really find anything that looked like the boots that started all this, in order to answer our reader’s question. Perhaps one of our savvy readers can help?

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Purple is such an autumnal color for me. Not literally, of course–maroons and oranges and browns would probably more appropriate for the color palette of the season. Metaphorically though, it’s evocative of twilights, it’s melancholy, it’s spiritual–just like fall can be. Which is why I stubbornly look for purple shoes every time fall comes, just to get me in the mood.

Ok, it’s also a fun, fun, FUN color to wear, I admit. Happy now?

Here are seven of my favorite purple picks for this fall:

1) Sigerson Morrison violet suede pointy-toe skimmer, with a demure Mary Jane buckle and bold silver lining, $379 at Zappos:

2) Tory Burch ‘Quinn’ quilted patent ballet flat, lined in deep purple and featuring the signature ornament on the vamp, $225 at Plaza Too:

3) Dolce & Gabbana assymetrical high-throat, peep-toe pump, with cutout detail at the heel, $454 at Zappos (very appropriate come witch season, may I add):

4) Taryn Rose ‘Desi’ ankle boot, with black patent rosette detail, $645 at Nordstrom–absolutely stunning:

5) L’Autre Chose distressed leather oxfords (very in this fall), $174 at Yoox:

6) Vince Camuto ‘Heaven’ cutout patent pumps, $128 at Zappos:

7) Marc Jacobs violet slingback with frayed grosgrain trim, $355 at Shoes.com:

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