Not Shoeblog, that’s for sure–and hopefully, not you, dear readers and shoe-lovers. We know you crave a happy, well-adjusted, and well-fitted shoe, appropriate for all your spring needs; we know you don’t want to be either dowdy or so sweet they could send you into a diabetic comma. So here, let’s contemplate a few of the season’s offerings in terms of the floral trend. We’re looking for, say, a sweet-and-sour with a side of hot-and-spicy (as opposed to sweet-on-sweet with a side of bland). Let’s see!

These Maloles “Perry” slingback flats, in a tiny floral print, feature the classic ruched-toe we’ve come to expect from Maloles, and a chunky black ribbon to balance the sweetness with a dark side ($318 at Zappos, or $295 at Plaza Too+S&H).

The saccharine overtones of the antique floral pattern of this “retrofitted flat” is tempered by the cord piping and rope laces with leather tassels ($78 at Anthropologie):

And also at Anthropologie, and also in the non-bank-breaking  bracket, are these  cute ankle-strap flats, with a dark, stormy edge ($68):

These “Tarantella” wedges limit the floral pattern to discreet patches on the vamp and heel, and tops it all with a dark bow ($98 at Anthropologie):

Although I can’t recommend a 4-inch heel to anyone, I still love the pattern on these Pink heels ($78 at Anthropologie):

When it comes to floral shoes with an edge, however, I think these take the cake:

Paul Smith floral oxfords, oh my! $574 at Zappos.

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Because my life is a yellow monochromatic obsessive blur lately, I offer you today a bright, chic, ultra-trendy peep-toe slingback oxford from Nine West…in yellow.

The Nine West ‘Heathers’ heels are $93 at Zappos. Cute AND affordable!

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Judging by his brow-raising, heavy sighing, and piercing stares when it comes to my expanded (90+) shoe collection, you’d think my husband is your typical male, impenetrable to the allure of footwear. Not so! He’s a veritable shoe snob of extremely discriminating taste, who knows exactly what he wants, and usually gets it.

And as a rule, he gets it from the UK. There is something about British craftsmanship that is just irresistible to him. Plus, the cost of shipping to the US is usually absorbed by the fact that they deduct the VAT (which can be around 20%, so quite substantial).

I’ve thought of that when browsing the famous Asos shop, a site I don’t usually visit so I don’t feel envious of our British fashionistas for having such cheap, adorable choices at their manicured fingertips.

But you know what? I might consider international shipping charges for these adorable colorblock slingbacks (say that three times in a row, fast):

They’re made by Bertie (anyone know this brand?) and cost $120 (£60).

These Asos cutout snakeskin silver flats are only about $60 (£30):

These adorable Scorah Pattullo ankle laced low heels are now on sale for $184 (£92), more than half off:

And these Swear gold-and-black contrast shoes–only about $62 (£31)–are positively glamorous:

Have you every ordered shoes from abroad? How was your experience? My husband’s experience with British retailers has been stellar (for one thing, Royal Mail is faster than USPS and absolutely reliable, and for another, see the VAT issue, above). I’m seriously tempted by this Asos cuteness!

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I was browsing the shoe stores these days and was dazed with the possibilities and styles, and it got me thinking: what if I had to rebuild my shoe wardrobe from scratch? What if I had nothing, absolutely nothing to wear, and I would be forced to order shoes from one place and one place only to save me from this disgrace? (In this fantasy of mine, I don’t have shoes but I have plenty of money left to buy whatever I want. Ahem. Work with me here.). So I decided to create this little mind experiment and rebuild my wardrobe from scratch using one shoe store at a time. I need to cover my bases–I need dress shoes, warm-weather shoes, casual shoes, dog-walking shoes, career shoes, evening shoes, sensible shoes. Right? Right.

The first obvious place is, of course, Zappos. Here’s what I would pick up there, for starters, for the spring-summer season:

1. A. Testoni Giancarla red patent loafers, $376.

2. Michael Kors Palm Springs yellow patent flats, $400.  

3. Sigerson Morrison gold kitten-heeled sandals, $443.

4. Sergio Rossi Origami kitten heel pumps, $500.

5. Helle Comfort Ollie wedge, $160.

6. Ecco Performance Yarrah, $104.

7. Marc Jacobs color-block flat sandals, $353.

8. Delman Crest-V bejeweled velvet flat, $354.

9. Kate Spade Juliette open-toe slingbacks, $274.

10. Cole Haan Air Gabi boat shoe, $158.

11. Taryn Rose Daelyn gunmetal metallic wedges, $495.

 12. Christian Lacroix bejeweled kitten heels, $717.

13. Adidas by Stella McCartney sport flats, $100.

14. Tapeet by Vicini silver and gold flats, $400.

15. Dolce & Gabbana floral canvas flats, $330.

16. Juicy Coutoure Lillian espadrilles, $230.

17. Giuseppe Zanotti Mirror Lilia open-toe flats, $454.

18. Paul Green ‘Soul’ in leopard, $237 (although, shame on you, Zappos: the same shoe is half off at Piperlime! I guess it would be a good time to call them on it and get that 10% off the lowest price you can find on the Internet, right?)

19. Paul Smith Laney floral espadrille, $178.

Mmmmm….I’m drunk with shoes right now… I think I’m going to lie down, or I’ll buy all of them right now! Wait, I won’t: the grand total for this “starter” wardrobe is (drum roll): $6263. Over six thousand dollars. I probably went all crazy in the Couture section of Zappos, but I couldn’t help myself!

Later this week I’ll explore more eye-candy at other stores, and what it would take to get a “starter” spring-summer shoe wardrobe there. Stay tuned!

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Getting ready for Valentine’s Day?  Hot date with your special someone?  Hitting the town to prove that you’re single and fabulous?  Well, either way, you might want to sport a pair of shoes from English designer Jonathan Kelsey.  They’re now available at Saks, and they’re full of delightfully chic and girly colors and materials.

To wit, these coquettish gray ankle-strap sandals that play a flirty game of peep-toe peek-a-boo.

Or how about these copper colored t-straps that’ll put your feet on come hither display in a little cage of suede and metallic leather.

 And for an edgier take on holiday-appropriate accessorizing, try these strappy pink open toe pumps.  They’re a little bit bondage with that 4 1/2″ heel and all the straps and strategic cut-outs.  Who knows, perhaps they’ll end the night on your boudoir floor.

If you don’t want to torture your feet all night in heels, or if you want something a bit more demure, take these pink-gold slingbacks out for a spin and see what classy people end up looking your way.

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