Sometimes, I stumble upon footwear that is so oxymoronic in nature that all I can do is … stare. And scratch my head in hopes it will directly massage my brain in order to warm it up for this type of stylistic gymnastics:

Sheer mesh booties. Yes, for grown-ups. They do exist.

I have to say, they’re on a par with these rabbit fur sandals (by Zanotti, no less):

See, that’s reason no. 1,423, 204th to love shoes, right there: they expand immeasurably your “Who would have thunk” mental catalog.

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In honor of the MSN search of the day for Ugly Shoes (hurry, that link is not going to be there for too long, and it really does have some real gems)–I bring you not one, but two Very Ugly Shoes:

Type Z legwarmer sandals (???):

Zinc burlap pumps:

They’re both uncomfortable and hideous. What a double whammy!

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Ok, so the twins of DSquared2 put on in Milan this week a sexy-librarian show with tight pencil skirts, plaid, tacky fishnets and mile-high stiletto heels that we’re supposed to fall gaga over. You will excuse me if I don’t. For one, yeah, yeah, I know, it’s just about every horny man’s fantasy, and as such, is as trite and commonplace as it can be. For another, even the models couldn’t keep these anklebreakers on their feet and several, in fact, paraded on the runway while holding the shoes in their hands. ‘Cause everybody knows that’s the oh-so-sexy alternative to the sexy ankle-cast! Brrrrr! One reviewer for Style.com called this trend “sinister eroticism”–it has seeped into every collection for the fall, and it’s something to be mulled over.

On the other hand, I thought the lightning bolt heel was pretty cool. You know, if it was about 4 inches lower or something.

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I love the way Anyi Lu shoes feel, and most often, how they look. They are heaven for your tootsies, and they will give your outfit that classic, stylish vibe you were perhaps looking for.

However, I don’t expect my first reaction to seeing these shoes on someone to be, “Honey, watch out, you’ve got a little alien spawn on your shoes–it looks like he’s getting ready to gobble down your foot!”

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the design idea–I do, I really do, but in this case the effect is less funky T-strap variation and more praying mantis mounting a reptilian.

But again, I will admit to having a rather vivid imagination in this regard.

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We’ve blogged about these shoes before. On several occasions.

The folks at ELLE clearly agree with my assessment of the LEGO-like quality of these shoes.

I think they’re hideous.

Kanye West doesn’t.

And apparently Beyonce agrees with Kanye, rather than me, because she was sporting a pair at the American Music Awards last weekend.

The jacket was designed by Tina Knowles (Beyonce’s mom), who, of course, designs a lot of the clothes Beyonce steps out in for events. Who knows if the jacket was designed to match the shoes, but match it does.

I’m as shocked as anyone to say this, because I a) hate those shoes and b) think Beyonce rarely wears clothes that are flattering, but… drumroll please…

I like this whole look. Yep. I love how the jacket and shoes match. I love the hair and makeup. I love the earrings (which are hard to see in this photo). I love how the jeans (J Brand, which I can personally state are awesome) fit her and make her look curvaceous and fab without looking like they’re a size too small.

I still think the shoes are severely fug, but Beyonce is proving very well that the right outfit can make pretty much anything work.

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