I can only imagine that these Christian Lacroix shoes are a post-postmodern commentary to the futility of function in the world of form, an ironic wink to the fluidity of stumped motion, and a stern condemnation of the overbearing fixity of routine heels and soles:

That’s as close as you can get to NOT having a heel while preserving the illusion of one–a wedge, no less. They’re $670 at Zappos, if you’re interested.