Flat Oxfords: When to wear?
posted by: shoesense in Oxfords, Tapeet Shoes, Zappos on March 31st, 2008
Possible scenarios in which I would wear bicolor flat women’s oxfords a la this Tapeet by Vicini model ($499 at Zappos):
1. I am an extra in a remake of The Untouchables. In drag.
2. They are offered to me as a “designer rental” option at a bowling alley.
3. I was asked by a famous photographer to pose as a man so I can be featured in his next show (a la Charlotte in Sex and the City).
4. I have to choose between them or 6-inch hooker heels to fast-walk on cobbled streets in a charming mountain resort in Europe. I choose personal safety, but I’m not happy about it.
5. It’s Halloween, and I’m going as the Chicago cast.
6. I am part of the cast of a bizarre reality show in which I have to spend 10 million dollars in 1 hour. I buy everything on the Zappos website, and these are in the mix.
7. I am a model on the catwalk and that’s what a gender-bending transgressive designer wants me to wear.
8. I have been hit in the head repeatedly and I have no sense of right, wrong, or style.
But really, I’m running out of options here. I am tapped out. I cannot think of any more respectable situations in which I could be persuaded to wear these. I’m sorry, flat oxford movement, but I’m guessing you’re not for me.
7 Comments
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August 03, 2010 at 2:57 pm, Mei said:
Yeah, I like solid color oxfords but these are honestly the grossest thing I've ever seen.
September 15, 2009 at 3:19 pm, donni said:
hilarious… and i could not agree more, i have seen a few cute styles in oxfords, however, this particular stye is indeed atrocious.
June 21, 2009 at 1:25 am, Cheap Bowling Balls said:
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February 05, 2009 at 3:56 am, galligator said:
So, I don't have thin ankles & I would rock these. Oxfords are all in the attitude of the wearer.
February 04, 2009 at 12:46 pm, L said:
screw you i got chunky ankles
August 13, 2008 at 2:26 am, mg said:
Ahh ladies, while I agree they are not for everyone, I want a pair in all gray. As long as you have thin ankles, they would look fantastic with opaque tights and skirts or dresses.
March 31, 2008 at 12:58 pm, Barb said:
I'm with you. Please give me at least a 1/2 inch ballroom heel. Love oxfords & spectators, but keep 'em cute or sexy.