There is a growing mythology surrounding high heels, most of which has been perpetuated and reinforced by the famed Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City. The power that the spike/stiletto heel (3" and higher) is supposed to have is nothing short than magical: makes the wearer thinner, more elegant, more feminine, sexier, more seductive, mysterious, sophisticated, powerful, assertive, desirable, flirtatious, available, pretty, etc. etc. etc. The absurdity of having women teetering perilously on flimsy sticks with confining toeboxes that are supposed to streamline the silhouette but in reality restrict blood flow, is apparently lost in the shadow of these many beneficial but largely fictitious consequences. The whole physical (and financial!) abuse issue and numerous health consequences (bad knees, spine, feet, bunions, hammer toes, etc.) also pale in comparison to the ultimate prize, which is, I presume, projecting a super-sexualized, ultra-feminine image of oneself–right?

I am, and have always been, deeply suspicious of claims that high heels (spike heels in particular) are ‘pretty comfortable,’ or indeed, integral to one’s walking comfort. I used to wear them every once in a while, back when I didn’t know any better, and every single time they made me supremely miserable if I had to walk for more than a block in them. I know numerous women who can’t be persuaded to wear them for even that long. And I know numerous women who just suffer quietly through miserable evenings out in their glamorous shoes–as if suffering is an integral part of fashion, something they must stoically endure in order to garner the societal approval that they so crave, and by that, I mean primarily men’s approval.

In all the photographs and movies I’ve seen featuring Audrey Hepburn, one of the undisputed fashion idols of all time, I’ve always seen her wear low-heels, ballet flats, kitten heels at best. If you could, by a miracle, meet her, would you think of her as  anything less than glamorous, beautiful, mysterious, seductive, sexy, wonderful from each and every point of view? I didn’t think so. And you’d be correct to assume that that’s because of her personality, mind, talent, beauty, and impeccable taste, and not because of the height and shape of her shoe heels.

My point, as always: by stylish, by all means! Clothes are a big part of who we are and how we choose to present ourselves to the world–BUT be comfortable doing so, and don’t kid yourself that some shoes are ‘actually pretty comfy’–when in reality, they’re only pretty comfy compared to the prospect of, I don’t know, live birth, or disembowelment. 

I leave you with this hilarious video on YouTube–one of the funnier takes on high heels I’ve seen in a long time. Enjoy!