I usually adore just about everything Mr. Marc Jacobs does to shoes. Furthermore, I adore both Mary Janes (oh so cute and comfy and innocent) and metallics (shiny!!!). These are the reasons why it was with great surprise that I found myself uttering a mere confused ‘huh’ in front of these Marc Jacobs metallic ballerinas ($325 at eLuxury):

mj

All the signs should point to cute, chic, and comfortable, right? Yet there’s something that rubs me the wrong way. Is it that I find the ruffled edges so and so? Or is it the elastic band that kind of takes from the glamor of the silver leather? Or could it be the ruching on the toe?

Nah, none of these. I know: it’s how that little forlorn and way too unilinear bow on the vamp cuts the silvery expanse of leather in approximately the same way a thin moustache would divide the face of an elderly gentleman.

And I don’t know about you, but that’s not exactly the kind of feeling I want to evoke through my shoes.

Well, hopefully, I’m the only one to feel this way–or am I?