As a Public Service Announcement to our readers, I bring you a stunning example of (please note capital letters) What Not To Wear, courtesy of Haider Ackermann.
It starts with the shoes, of course, because what here doesn’t start with the shoes?
Specifically, it starts with this clumpy, mis-shapen, do not wear, do not pass go, do not collect $200 clogs. Of course, even if you did collect $200, it wouldn’t make much of a difference, because these gnarled things cost 606 Euro, which is about $860 these days. And that $860 won’t help much with the hospital bills you’ll have after falling on your face in these 150mm heels (that’s about 6 inches, for those using the English system).
But it doesn’t stop there. What are the recommended articles of clothing to be worn with these shoes? Why, of course, a pair of stretch patent leather trousers (1,056 Euro or $1,500) and a loose metallic top (598 Euro or $850).
Please note, I am not inventing the fact that these are intended to be worn together, as evidenced by the fact that the shoes show up in the picture of the pants.
Now, the top I could live with. Pair that with a black pencil skirt or a pair of great jeans, and many people would look amazing. However, there is no excuse whatsoever for stretch patent leather pants or nasty evil clodhoppers. Well, unless you’re an Olsen twin.