This is what I’m talking about: you see a cute-as-a-button shoe, just adorable, and then you check the brand, and it’s some cheapo, Chinese-made, all man-made materials low-end shoe and you wrinkle your nose and say, I’ll pass, thank you, so what if it’s only $19.99, it’s not worth it to me.

And then you go into a Fendi or Louis Vuitton or Bottega Venetta boutique and you see a blah or fuglirific product that is, granted, well made (although that doesn’t mean it can’t be made out of plastic entirely) and you fawn over the craftsmanship and say, well, I know it’s $790, which is my rent for the month, but it must be really worth it if they charge so much money for it.

There are high end shoes out there I wouldn’t look at twice unless their exorbitant sticker price didn’t compel me. Just to be clear, they’re not all horrendous or anything, just something I wouldn’t be caught dead in–an example in which the otherwise world-renown taste of the designer is a little…off.

Let’s start with the “blah” range:

Bottega Veneta pump

I know, it’s a “basic nude” or something, but honestly, $690 for this? Ok, it’s a Bottega Veneta, but that doesn’t make it more palatable.

And these boots–I find them swerving from blah to ugly:

But they’re Chloe and $775, so I’m guessing they’ll have a lot of takers among the snobbish crowd.

And the king of stilettos himself is asking for $1,575 of your hard-earned money for this fringed monstrosity:

But it’s a Louboutin, and I bet that come fall I’m going to see these fringes swaying vigorously around the ankles of many a Hollywould starlet.

Speaking of fringes (I had posted about this trend a while back, and to my horror, I notice more and more of it lately)–I find these distasteful:

And yet, they’re $1,075 because they’re Alexander McQueen. I bet you feel differently about them now, don’t you? There’s so much magic in the name of the designer! A shoe you would have only deemed fit for the 4 a.m. shift in Place Pigalle  or to go in circles around a shiny pole is suddenly a work of art worthy of an entire paycheck.

And Zanotti, you king of zany, what the heck are these?

While I appreciate their fashion-forwardness, their aesthetic is a bit…off. The balance is no good. The harmony is missing.  Plus, they’re $750.

I guess in the world of fashion, the old Shakespearean rhyme wouldn’t apply: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Sometimes, in this world, name is everything.