Why are women ridiculed over shoes?

[galligator]

Originally published 7/23/08 @ blogs.tampabay.com:

The splurge ... $900 shoes

The comments to this article were particularly hateful.

The splurge ... $900 shoes

ManoloLauren Sutton knew exactly what her heart desired. Hint number one: She wakes up each morning and decides which shoe to wear first, then plans her outfit accordingly. Hint number two: Her two-pound poodle is named Manolo.

She set a goal upon graduation from University of Florida, with her mother as a witness. Once she made it as a working girl, Lauren wanted the real thing, a piece of foot art by Manolo Blahnik. Three and a half years later, she walked into Neiman Marcus holding ten bills, each stamped with 100.

The store was holding for her the Koyu, a black beauty from the Runway Collection. She knew the specs by heart: Four and one-quarter inch heels. Stiletto, of course. Racy rivets. A silver buckle to cinch the ankle strap. The overall effect, in Lauren's words: "Sex on a stick."

Two months of research went into this purchase. Lauren picked black, not a wild color, for versatility. She will never, ever buy another pair. She set a sales goal at her job, made it and paid cash, refusing to open a Neiman credit card or to splurge on Amex.

"This is my big screen TV," Lauren explained to her husband.

Lauren_suttonHer Manolo's came with a warranty and a duster bag. She is the only woman in Tampa to possess the Koyu in size 6.5. She even got a deal. Lauren found the shoe priced at $865 on the Neiman's website, but was quoted $905 at the store. She held firm until a representative honored the Internet price.

"I wanted them, and I worked hard for them and I love them," she said. "And I loved walking out of Neiman Marcus with my little bag."

On her way home, she was tempted by a pair of Stuart Weitzman booties at Nordstrom, which is where Lauren buys most of her shoes in the $80 to $130 range. She forced herself to walk away. There's no way her husband would understand buying two pairs of shoes. Especially when one would pay half the month's mortgage.

~ Deal Diva Letitia

(Photos: St. Petersburg Times advertising representative Lauren Sutton shows off her Manolo's. Shot by Times staff photographer Carrie Pratt.)
Posted by Letitia Stein at 07:00:00 AM on July 23, 2008
in Shoes, shoes, shoes , Splurge vs. Scrimp | Permalink

[galligator]

My questions are:

1.) When do others have a right to say how someone else spends their hard-earned income?

2.) How dare we judge someone based on one dream purchase? We do not know what other sacrifices were made to afford a once-in-a-lifetime wearable artisan item. Did she give up restaurants, lattes, new clothes for a year, drive a 10-year old car?

3.) I sincerely hope none of the people criticizing her:

• Play golf regularly (that cost $$$ & doesn't help others!)
• Own a car less than 3 years old (wasteful!)
• Dine out & watch shows regularly (spendthrifts!)
• Have Cable (that money could be donated!)
• Own and Xbox or other high-end gaming system ($300+ & hundreds more in games)
• Own a large-screen TV or season-tickets to any sporting event
• Have any hobbys that are personally fulfilling & keep them sane but cost any sort of $$$

Oh yeah: Pot, meet Kettle.

Is it just me, or is anybody else tired of the increasingly common ideas that imply that one's hard work and income should cause you to feel shame for your success instead of pride in your accomplishments? I know too many successful people who are also very charitable to believe the contrary.

Soapbox Off.

[barbiegirl]

I don't know. But a lot of things that women like are held up as frivolous or not serious.

I guess some people only see shoes as a practical & boring part of their wardrobe. Maybe they just can't understand that for some of us it is a real appreciation of colors & styles & small pretty luxuries. Shoe-shopping is kind of a mental bubble-bath that just make some of us feel great. It doesn't really tell strangers much else about us than that we like a little bit of interest in our look. Anything else they read into is their problem, not mine. KWIM?

[r5bales]

I am going to show my political colors here, but I believe there is a belief with those who call themselves Progressive - the brave ones call themselves liberal. They believe we should "spread the wealth" which sets up class jealousy and ultimately class warfare. We are then told that the government needs to take the wealthy's money so the non-wealthy can have it.

This is where the unusually hateful comments come from. They have heard time and time again, that it is unfair that person A can have Manolos and Person B can't, therefore Person A shouldn't have those shoes; so they believe it. It doesn't matter that person A could have saved for years for her shoes, doesn't matter that she may have put in 70 hour work weeks, doesn't matter that she may give 15% of her income to charities or is taxed 50% of her income.

That kind of thinking makes my blood boil and it is so prolific in Washington DC.

[galligator]

If you couldn't tell. I am working class & have gone through a lot to get where I am. I have never defaulted on a creditor, even when times were tough. I have had ups & downs financially. We bought a lower-priced home than we would have been approved for by a bank (what we felt we could reasonably afford). I do believe that we should as a society help those who are truly helpless (ie, mentally or physically incapable of work) but I really hate the idea that the life we work hard for everyday somehow makes me unworthy of the benefits of hard work. I also, have a less-than-stellar feel for the progressive movement. It tends to focus on emotions & look for victims to save rather than help people become self-sufficient and to find out how they can instead bring success into their own lives. The traditional 'American Dream' was that any person with drive and the willingness to take financial or business risks had the chance to build a successful career or business. I'm not sure when it changed that the dream is an entitlement to be handed out. I work, I risk, sometimes it doesn't work -but sometimes, there's that reward at the end. It's that possibility that keeps me working hard & reaching for new opportunities. If that chance for reward goes away, than where is the incentive to excel?

BTW - back to the original topic...
Women's interests are often marginalized 'Oh that's silly'. There's a lot of cultural baggage that we carry around in regard to gender. It just seems that women get the sighs & criticism for having interest things like shoes, fashion & makeup (particularly on women who confuse femininity with an anti-feminist viewpoint!). It's just strange that you don't get that same type of mockery with men who are 'car guys', or gamers, or many other stereotypically male hobby.

It kind of reminds me of the when a certain 'male performance enhancer' came out. I remember when it was announced, I elbowed my husband saying, "Most health insurance still won't cover birth control...just wait and see how fast Congress works to make sure this is covered". And, what do you know?

[I<3shoes]

I don't know, but you just can't take it too seriously. A lot of women don't understand why their boyfriends love motorcyles. There are just some things that when you get bit with the bug, there's no going back. It's a mystery.